Don't worry love, I'll look after the kids.........

Don't worry love. I'll look after the kids..............................

How do these words resonate in your ears? Do they leave you feeling relaxed and happy or slightly nervous and on edge?

I most definitely fall into the latter category.

Most Saturdays, whether I like it or not, I have to catch up with work. I still have my little one at home with me for the majority of the week, so I really need some Cheeky Pickle time at the weekend and Saturday always seems best.

So I thought I would write a few words describing a typical Saturday in my house.

6am - The alarm goes off and I wake up, full of beans and excited at the prospect of a "full day" that can be dedicated to creating and catching up with work. I try to get up early as I know this will be the only day of the week that I will have the opportunity to get in a good 4 hour slot of solid work. So I get up, leaving everybody slumbering and go for a run. I love running, it clears my head and helps me to think in a straight line without having children interrupting my thought process.

7.30/8.00am - I'm back, feeling fantastic and looking forward to a day of peace, without any distractions. I walk through the door and my enthusiasm starts to wane a little. My eldest child, who is only 7, but has somehow miraculously transformed into a super lazy teenager overnight, is lounged on the sofa, eyes glued to the T.V. I don't know about you, but in my house, if the T.V is on, especially in the morning, then nothing happens and nothing gets done.

As I slowly glance around the room, I see what can only be described as a bomb site! My mind races. They must have only been up an hour! How could they have caused so much havoc? As my eyes finally settle on the kitchen, I see Little Miss number 2, starkers and with her head stuck in the fridge.

Now my little pocket rocket is very different from Little Miss lazy-teenager-in- the- making. Having been ignored on too many occasions, she has adapted an "I can do it all by myself" attitude. So with head stuck in the fridge and singing a merry little tune (she is always happy), I nervously open the fridge a little wider to see what she has been up to "all by herself" Let's just say that she has managed to get the jam jar and the yogurt pot open and the words rather and sticky feature heavily in my mind.

Meanwhile I glance around the room to see where hubbie is. What hits my eyes is an immaculate sight. Sat promptly at the breakfast table, showered, dressed and eating a beautifully made, healthy breakfast. Not to mention the newspaper and cup of tea, freshly brewed and laid out neatly in front of him. Mmm....very nice! "Morning love" he chirps. "Enjoy your run? Don't you worry about a thing. I'll look after the kids today. You go and do your "stuff"" My eyes widen. I tear a sticky, jammy, yogurty pocket rocket away from the fridge and stomp past him to the bathroom.

9am - I have managed to feed the kids and get them dressed. I have cleaned the mess up in the kitchen, hoovered, mopped and fed a ravenously hungry dog. My enthusiasm is now waning even more as I trudge upstairs, hungry, still sweaty from my run and rather tired. As I step into the shower, hubster is "busy" on the computer. Busy, my backside. A quick glance and it's usually Top Gear or What Car? that I can see on the screen. What Car?...now there's a blog in itself. He's been looking at What Car? for years. By the time he finally chooses What Car is right for us, they won't be making it anymore!!!

Anyway, whats the point in getting cross. The sooner I get them all up, dressed, fed and out of the house, the sooner I can get some work done.

As I step out of the shower, I hear the click of the front door and my body instantly relaxes. Ahhhhh......peace! O.K, I relax for all of 2 seconds before the race is on. I look at the clock. 9.30. I have all of two and a half hours (if I'm lucky) before they return, demanding lunch. I quickly dress and run downstairs to throw some breakfast down my neck. As I turn around, I see a present waiting for me on the rug. A whole bottom floor of polished floor boards and one measly rug. Dougal the Cavoodle, wagging his tail excitedly, has done a whoopsie right in the middle of said rug. Thanks Dougal, I thought you were on my side mate!

10am -I finally sit down at my desk. O.K, I have two hours, if I'm lucky, to "create," to think lovely thoughts and to try and come up with some fantastic, innovative art pieces....... Nah, it just ain't gonna happen is it? All I can think about is that in two hours time, the house is going to be total mayhem again,I still haven't put the washing on, there is a stack of ironing to do and don't get me started on the kids bedroom!

So I sigh an even deeper sigh than I did before, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders and hearing a rather loud ticking clock clanging in my head. So, thinking proactively, I jump onto the computer and decide to get on with some mundane tasks like catching up on e mails, invoices e.t.c

12pm - Before you can say "stop kidding yourself and get off Facebook, you lazy cow!" I can hear the crunch of tyres coming up the drive and my heart starts to beat a little faster. The door flies open and before I know it I can hear two little munchkins running up the stairs, with smiling faces and arms loaded with goodies.


You know what I'm talking about. These girls have their dad wrapped around their little finger. They wait very patiently for Saturday morning (when their tight arsed mother isn't around) and using all their girly charms, they pounce like panthers. I find it fascinating to see just how early these little girls learn how to use their feminine charms and boy oh boy do they like to practice on their daddy.

So as I glance down at all their wares, I can see that they have taken dad to the newsagents for ridiculously expensive Princess type magazines, that will never get read, and to the $2 shop for bits of crap that they won't look at tomorrow and will most probably have broken within the hour anyway!

Another deep sigh!

Realising that work must now stop, I begrudgingly walk downstairs to find hubby unpacking numerous bags of food (I only went shopping the day before!) Silently I nosey through the bags, I then open the fridge and gesture to the larder, which is full to brimming. "But they were on special love" Mmmm.....twenty HUGE bananas. WHAT are we going to do with twenty huge bananas. DON'T tempt me ladies!

It never ceases to amaze me just how much money my husband can waste, sorry, spend in a two hour time frame on a Saturday morning.I mean it's just ridiculous. I spend all week trying to be frugal and making do with what is left in the fridge, and then at the weekend he just blows it all in. And what on?.........

HUGE bananas and half the local $2 shop.

I watch him as he collapses onto the sofa. Raising my eyebrows, our eyes meet. "Oh it's exhausting love! I don't know how you do it, every day with two kids...." What's he done? NOT got them dressed, NOT fed them, NOT cleaned the house. He's been bloomin' shopping! Staying calm (it is only 12 o'clock remember) I monotonously unpack the bags, trying to find a bowl big enough for  the HUGE bananas and start to prepare lunch.

2pm - Everyone fed, washing up done and a few $2 shop toys already broken and in the bin. Finally, I'm back to work. O.K. I may just get two solid hours before the dinner time rush kicks in. I do manage to get some work done in this time...Hooray! The hubster has now taken the kids off to Bunnings (B&Q equivalent in the U.K) and has come back, wallet once again much lighter, with a car loaded with "stuff" that will never get used. O.K, let's give him the benefit of the doubt, these things may get used....once. I know I sound awful bagging my dear husband like this, but trust me, we have a whole garage full of "stuff" from Bunnings.

4pm - I hear hubby shout "don't worry love, I'll make the kids dinner". Once again I am filled with fear. The last time he said those words, I came down stairs to see them both sat at the table with two slices of bread in front of them. Honestly, I do not tell a lie. When questioned, he said "well, there's butter on it...." Can you see what I'm dealing with here?

So being given an extra hour, I go back upstairs and finish off. In the back of my mind, I'm dreading the 5.30 clean up.

5.30pm - I go downstairs. My husband is lay on the sofa, a nervous wreck, muttering to himself "it's too much, I want to go back to work......" Leaving him there, I just get on with it. Tidy up, wash up, clean up, mop up, bath the kids, P.J's on, read story, put to bed, put back in bed............... By now my husband has recovered enough (funny that isn't it?) and is sat with beer in hand and is lovingly cooking me a meal.

8pm - I sigh, I sit down, glass of wine in hand and with my back to the kitchen, which is once again, an absolute mess! Why is it that when men cook, they use every single utensil, cup, plate, pan and spoon that is in the kitchen? I can't bare the thought of clearing up yet again and already I'm dreading Sunday morning.

I look over at my hubby, he's smiling, slightly drunk maybe. "What a day" he says "wooo hooo, it was bloomin' hard work, but at least you had a rest hey love......"

Mmmm.....now where is that dirty frying pan?

I just don't "get it!"

I don't know about you, but I've had a busy few weeks. I've been trying to get all my "stuff" in order before the kids go back to school/Kinder. Which I'm looking forward to, as this will leave me a little more free time to finally get back to doing something creative again.

Most of that "stuff" has been computer based. Urrrrggghhh! As you may already know, I'm not the most confident person behind a mouse, but, you know, it has to be done whether I like it or not.

In times gone by, I used to wait until the hubster came home from work, so he could help me out, but I'm not going to get anywhere fast doing that now am I? So I have taught myself. I've struggled, fought and kicked my way through the pain barrier of learning new skills behind the keyboard.

The thing with me is that I'm not a very fast learner. I have to do something again and again and usually once more, before I "get it". God help me if I ever go on holiday for two weeks, I'd have to start the whole process from scratch!

computer geek..................................

So I've worked my way around e mail (honestly, this was how much of a dinosaur I was. Mmmm....still am, I think I should add), uploading photo's, iPhone, apps (still not totally sure sure about what they are, but I think I've figured out that it is short for applications?) Blogger, Madeit, Etsy, Big Cartel, Stat Counter and to top it all off, web design! Yes, I may have turned into a geek. Oh boy, I would love to be a geek!

Let's not forget the biggie. Facebook. No sooner have you got your head around their funny way of doing things, than they go ahead and change it all and you have to start all over again.

You go to bed rather happy with your technical days work and then wake up to find FB "has a new look" or should we say "another new look" But what they don't tell you is how to fathom your way around their fantastic "new look" Do you think the bigwigs behind FB get a kick out of watching us all struggle to work out their "new looks"and that's why they keep changing things? Grrrrr.......like I have time to fanny about on FB any more than my usual five hours plus a day.

But what really exhausts me, is when I finally start to feel a little confident in my computer prowess. All of a sudden another "thing" pops out of the woodwork, screaming "me, me, pick me next. It's my turn to steel hours and days away from your life, take you away from your family, give you headaches, nausea, sleepless nights and a crick in the neck!"

So just in these last two weeks, I've been learning Twitter, Pinterest, google+, mail chimp, redesigning my blogger and Pic nik.

O.K, let's concentrate on the lovely Pic nik shall we. Pic nik is a photo editing programme which is FREE, hooray!! I have enviously looked at other FB pages and seen their fabulous photo's, all edited beautifully, making their products look amazing. Just like Cinderella being left at home, I've always thought that I couldn't do that. Considering everything computerised takes me so much longer than "normal" people and with always being rather time poor, I have kept putting it on the back burner.

So with all my new years resolutions and as much enthusiasm as a brand new puppy, I thought.... I can do this. So I put aside a whole Saturday afternoon and I taught myself from scratch. I edited my first few photo's and they looked just as fabulous as those I had been going green over on FB. Hooray, I did it, and I can honestly say that I had even enjoyed the process! Bring on the next photo shoot please.......

The next day I woke to an e mail saying that Pic nik would be closing in April!!! WHAT THE....!!!! Am I some kind of jinx?

it's too much............................

In fact it's bloody ridiculous. No wonder we aren't talking to each other anymore. We are all manically computing.

Let's take Facebook. I have always been rather anti Facebook and didn't "get" why people needed to tell ALL their friends that they were out having coffee, or just about to watch The Biggest Loser (I don't get it???) To be honest, I still don't get that and don't think I ever will.

but..............

I do lurrrve FB for my business and I have met some fabulous friends on there, both customers, likers to my page and other FB business page owners. There are some absolutely gorgeous, supportive and friendly people on there.

But now I feel rather pressured. I feel like if I don't reply to EVERY post, or write endless, encouraging comments on my business friends walls, I feel like I am somehow letting them down. So  now I must spend about an hour a day clicking that like button and popping up positive posts.

the next big thing.................................

Ah.....the next big thing. Well it is to me anyway. Remember, I am a dinosaur and I will most definitely roar. Well, at the computer screen on a bad day and at "that " time of the month, I most certainly will anyway. Sorry, back to the blog. Where was I? Ah, yes, the next big thing.

Twitter..........................

So off I go and sign up to the tweeting social media site. But once again it will take this dinosaur forever to work out how it all works. But more importantly WHY it works. Why is it good for my business? Why should I learn all the rules and strange Twitter etiquette, and what exactly should I be tweeting about anyway?

a few days later........................

O.k, so I've signed up and to be honest, it was dead easy. Either that or I really am getting the hang of this computer lark. So I'm happily tweeting away. A tweet here and a tweet there...... but I still have no bloomin' idea how I find out if anyone has twirped back (is that a real Twitter word, or did I just make that one up?) or how to start making chirpy conversation with someone. I feel like a lonesome bird, calling out for her mate, but just in rather short and to- the- point sentences. That's how they do it on Twitter, you know.

But I will soldier on, I always do, and I'll get there, I know I will. But as usual, I'll be doing it my way, which means the excruciatingly and rather painfully slow way.

Then something else starts to creep up all over Facebook. The must do, must have, all singing, all dancing. "you don't pin, are you mad?" attitude to......


PINTEREST.........................................

By now, this dinosaur is starting to look rather cheesed off, to put it mildly. O.K, up until very recently this one has not even been on my radar. Being described as a "time waster" and with no real reason for it being there other than to put pretty pictures together(not getting it) Well, this was one social networking game that I could do without, thank you very much.

But then someone says "It's good for your business!" Well, before you can say Pin it, I've signed up, signed in and popped a pinterest button on my newly designed Blog.

Mmmmm.....but what now?.................

To put it bluntly, I have no idea! I have been on it a couple of times and I'm just not "getting it". Yes, the photo's are lovely and yes, some people have got amazing boards and have obviously got "an eye" for design, colour and feel. But I just don't quite get why I would want to spend hours of my life pinning pretty pictures together.


never say never............................

and in three months time, when I've, "got it" and I'm hooked, and I'm pinning like a crazy women possessed, which I'm sure I will be, given time. You can say, I told you so, as often as you like :)

So I just want to finish off here and say. I may have the all singing and all dancing Twitter and Pinterest buttons on my blog here, just to your right. You can click away, tweet and bloomin' pin me to a tree (only if I match the other trees and have some kind of theme mind), but please don't expect anything in return.

It's not that I'm being rude, it's just that I have ............

no bloody idea how to!!

Turning 40.....Well, almost!

As some of you may know already, it was my birthday earlier on this month and I turned 39. Yes, I'm not afraid to tell you my age and I have no idea why other people seem to have a problem with it. Maybe I'm just not old enough for it to be an issue.....yet!

so I'm nearly 40..............................

40 has always seemed such a long way away to me, like it was never really ever going to happen. I have always been rather an immature type, so the idea of reaching an age where I really couldn't get away from the fact that I was a fully fledged WOMAN, was not conceivable to me.

when I turned 30............................

When I turned 30, I remember feeling rather sad, down and would go as far as to say, depressed about the whole thing. At the time I could never understand why. It's only now, looking back, that I realise why.

At that point in my life, I didn't feel like I had achieved anything of significance. I know I set very myself rather high personal standards, but I couldn't put my finger on anything that I could be really proud of.

My late 20's were a very frustrating period in my life as I had floated around from job to job for so many years, not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. I had tried numerous types of jobs, but nothing seemed to fit right. I know this really frustrated my hubby at the time. He had always just gone to work and not had to, or had the choice to, think about his job or contemplate doing something different. He had just got on with it. Whereas I had this massive passion, burning inside me, but had no idea where I should have been channelling it.

I also think I was a bit glum when I turned 30 because all of a sudden that maternal clock starts to get rather loud. I have always passionately wanted to have children, but at that point in my life, I wanted to scream "no, not yet. I'm not ready. I still don't know what I want to do with my life!!!"

don't look back in anger..........................

I do look back sometimes and wonder what if? I think we all do it and it's only natural. But I look back at the 23year old me, fresh out of University with a Textile Design Degree and a massive amount of passion and drive. (But also with a few childhood issues wrapped around her neck and weighing her down, probably more than she thought) And I want to shake her and say "You have your whole life ahead of you and it starts here, right now! Wake up and smell the coffee"

I would then most probably introduce her to a financial advisor and careers counsellor ;)

But seriously, I do wonder where I would be today if I had used that passion and drive and put it to some good use. If I would have started a business back then, I would not only have done something I loved, but also not wasted 15 years of my life just drifting around from job to job and being miserable.

Not that I ponder this on a daily basis. Not at all! I look back now and see that that was my path, because of choices that I had made, and it has led me to where I am today.

I have travelled extensively, worked in some great places, met some fabulous people and had a fair amount of fun along the way. I've been happy, sad and sometimes just downright depressed. But I'm now using all of my experiences to carry me forward and on to the next path of my exciting journey.

confident women...............................

So why do all these women I meet around this magical age of 40 seem to ooze with confidence? Well to put it bluntly, I don't think they "give a shit!" They have spent the majority of their life caring what others think about how they look, dress, work, bring up their children....So when they reach the magical age, they finally have the confidence to say..........

"This is me. This is the way I look, this is the way I bring up my children and this is the way I live my life. Like it or lump it!"

the downsides...................................

Yes, there are downsides to reaching 40, of course there are! I have always been very fit and there are not many days of the week when I'm not at the gym or running up and down hills. But as soon as I reached 35, literally the day, honestly. It all seemed to get a LOT harder to do the things I've always done. I think that's the shocker. The aches, stiffness and pains. In fact both me and my hubby seem to make more noises trying to get out of bed these days than we ever did in our youth, jumping around "in bed!!" Mmmmm...... I can see you all fiercely nodding in agreement :)

Also there is that reflection you see in the mirror. Who is that woman with the gaunt face, tired eyes, crows feet and greying hair? I don't often look in the mirror these days, mainly because I don't have the time to. I mean trying to get two kids out of the house every morning by 8.30am is a challenge, right? But when I do catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I really don't recognise myself anymore. And I think that's because I'm still, in my mind, really still only 23!

it feels good.............................

But putting aside the wrinkles and aches and pains, I am also more relaxed and mellow now. I used to be extremely hot headed and jump into things with both feet at 100mph. I do still have those tendencies (Thank God. I would hate to lose all of my youthfulness) But now I sit back and have a good think about things first.

I'm more confident than I have ever been in my life and I'm happier with myself, the decisions I make, my body and my life. I'm becoming wiser and have much more patience with every day that passes.

And that feels good, that feels VERY good!

Bring on 40, that's what I say!

**You can now subscribe to the Cheeky Blog and the Cheeky Chat Blog by filling in your details top right of this page. If you do, you will be kept up to date with any news regarding FB Market nights, Spot sales and custom spots. And it will be served up fresh to your inbox every Sunday morning - Cheers - Ali xx **

Scrapbooking shops....are an absolute minefield!

I am very lucky to live close to the most fabulous scrapbooking shop, where, as you can imagine, I spend a heck of a lot of my free and not so free time. It's only a five minute drive from my house and it has everything any scrapbooker could possibly dream of.

I have been visiting this shop since I moved down to the Peninsula, so about three years now and I am very embarrassed to admit that I have only ever bought papers from there. The thing is, if you are not a scrapbooker (and I do not class myself as a scrapbooker, not that there is anything wrong with scrapbooking, it's just not my bag. I just work with papers and scrapbooking papers are the most divine variety imaginable) then these shops are an absolute mine field! Papers, card stock, embellishments, cuts, die cuts, printing ink, all kinds of stamps, embossing things, buttons, stencils.......this just brushes ever so slightly over what these shops have to offer.

Don't get me wrong, if you are into all this stuff, then brilliant, wow, your every need is catered for. But if you are like me and a complete novice, then it is all a bit confusing to say the least and very overwhelming. When I go into this shop, I am, like most of us today, in a rush and never have the time to speak with the girls who work there. But it's not as if you can just look on the back of the packet and it tells you what it does. It doesn't!! It's like some secret that you are just supposed to know.

The thing is, if I knew what all these contraptions were for and I knew how to use them, then I could implement them into my work and I know I 'd be hooked (and probably a lot poorer for it), like every other scrapbooker out there.

So today, having the time for once, I thought that I'd explore just one of the corners of this magnificent store. Printing. This is a crafting passion of mine that I have never tried out. I love the look of lino and screen printing. I love black ink print on brown paper and calico material with a splash of red and I love basic, clean patterns. I have been trying to find a screen printing course near me recently, but can't find one anywhere. If you know of anywhere, please let me know :)

So anyway I grabbed the sales assistant and told her that I needed to know everything there was to know about printing with the little ink block thingy me jigs. She was lovely and spent a long time with me describing all the different ink blocks, inks and dyes. She left me and my girls to it and in no time at all we had chosen a few lovely designs and my purse was about to be $50 lighter. And I was right. Those shops are a mine field. As I was leaving the shop I noticed something called embossing ink, so asked the lady behind the counter what they were for. She looked me straight in the eye, took a very tired, deep breath and said, "maybe we can go through that on another day dear"

Experimenting with different papers and depth of ink. Can't wait to start adding some stitching 

I have now booked myself onto a few induction courses!! You never know, by the end of the year, I may know how to use everything in the shop :)

First market memories.....

I did a fantastic market at the weekend. Good sales, met some lovely customers and lots of great feedback.

But it's hard work doing markets. You've got to prepare, stock up for weeks before, lug all your stuff into the car, lug it out again and finally set up. And then do it all again when the markets over. Not that I'm complaining, i love doing the markets and you get to meet some great people. But it wasn't always like that for me and this week got me thinking of my disastrous first ever market..............grab a cup of tea.......

My First ever market

It was the day of my first ever market, August 2009. Nervous doesn’t even begin to describe the thoughts going through my head at 5am that morning. My hubby kindly said that he would help set my tent up, so off we went, in two cars. Me in one with my work and what felt like everything but the kitchen sink, and him in the other with two very sleepy and bewildered children.

We get there. Its pitch black and rammed with people unloading cars, van’s backing up from every direction, lots of noise and EVERYBODY looking so very professional. And then there’s us! Idea now is to get the tent up quick before the kids start to lose the plot.

We find our spot, park up and start to unload. Up goes the $30 bargain tent from Bunnings. Great! Things are starting to go my way. Tent up, tables up, works up, admiring glances from other stallholders, stress levels coming down......but then disaster strikes and the tent falls down. My beautiful wind and rain protector is as I watch, not just falling down but trashing my work as it plummets back down to earth. As I look in the opposite direction, I see my hubby and the kids, satisfied all is well, slowly driving off to a Saturday morning filled with warmth, hot coffee and bacon and eggs!

I manage to put the frame back up, the back of my head burning with the glare and gossip of the other stallholders. “Oh, she’s new, she’ll learn....” and “...but did you see that tent...CHEAP, we won’t be seeing that one again” The frame is now leaning precariously on one of my tables. O.K, I think, that will have to do and just hope to God the market has insurance in case the whole thing falls on someone’s head. And then......the wind gets up, and the beautiful canvases that I have spent hours lovingly making are flying off the table like bales of hay in an old western movie.

So, to sum the experience up. I spent my first market running around trying to catch flying canvases, hoping to God my tent wouldn’t kill someone, freezing, hungry, nerves in tatters....and did I sell anything. YES, one blinking small canvas priced at $20. All told that day, I went home down $75 and feeling like....well I’m sure you can well imagine.

So now for my next market. Now this time I was prepared. Five layers of clothing, flask of coffee, food and other stallholders letting on to me like I was one of them, and this time I FELT like one of them. But it was windy, very windy and those clouds didn’t look too promising either. Up went the tent...and away it blew, a tent pole almost spearing my lovely neighbour on its way down. The now ruined tent was thrown in the back of the car, not without a good kicking and a few expletives screamed at it. It was to be found later that day in next doors skip. Off drove my hubby with the kids, leaving me to brave it out. Me, a table, my work and nothing more than a flask of coffee to keep me warm.

Another six hours of catching flying canvases finally did it for me and you’ll never, ever see me at an outdoor market ever again.